he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
