Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
My balls are so social today.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
foreskin is a definite game changer
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
