Even the bartender felt bad for me
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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