Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
well you can't waste a boner
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Randomize
