If i could tip my vagina, i would.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
