Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I have post one night stand depression
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