You're so nebulous sometimes
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
