it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
