i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
