I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
We need to get me chipped asap
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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