i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
