O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Randomize
