sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
