FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
