Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Its about making memories worth repressing
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
