4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
