no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
