just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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