this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
