Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
