I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
