Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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