I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
