why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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