I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
