For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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