I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
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