Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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