He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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