I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
