My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
