well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Randomize
