i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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