3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
so explain again why im purple
no
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
