Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
