I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
