you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
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