normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
