Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
you made out with another girl for some wings
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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