I got chris browned last night
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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