And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
She's like a pop up book from hell.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
