WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
