Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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