Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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