if you like me you must not know who I am
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
