I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
