I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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