I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
