Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
whose parrot is this?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
