We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
