I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Porn is love you can see.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
