Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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