john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
